Friday, December 16, 2011

The Jonathan Effect

So you’ve heard about the Mozart Effect. Supposedly, Mozart’s Sonata for Two Pianos in D Major K. 448 improves the listener’s ability to perform certain mental tasks known as spatial-temporal reasoning.

On the outside chance that listening to the sonata will help you concentrate on what you’re about to read, here is a performance of the piece selected nearly at random from YouTube that you should start… now.


But enough about Wolfgang. He’s not the topic of this post. Instead of the well-documented (but oft disputed) Mozart Effect, I’d rather discuss the as-yet undocumented (but indisputable) Jonathan Effect. Yep, Mr. Roadrunner himself, Jonathan Richman. Let’s get straight to the point with a definition of the Jonathan Effect:
Ten minutes of listening to Jonathan Richman’s music puts joy in the soul of the most hardened thug, causes lions to lay down with lambs, leads to breakthroughs in Israeli-Palestinian peace talks and creates new constellations in the night sky shaped liked puppies and smiley faces.
Perhaps that is an exaggeration. But the point is, Jonathan’s brand of calypso-rockabilly tunefulness draped over playful lyrics populated by little dinosaurs, dancing lesbians and Paris apologists is the closest audio equivalent to love in the springtime that I’ve yet encountered.

And lest you think that this is simply a fan boy raving about his love for a singularly gifted recording artist (it’s that, too), don’t underestimate the power of this effect. Here’s an experiment: Next time your car/girlfriend is stolen, your job is shipped to Abu Dhabi or your roommate brings home a copy of Lulu, listen to Jonathan (Modern Lovers or post-ML) for 10 minutes. Just 10 minutes. See what happens and report back here, though I suspect I already know the answer…


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

This Holiday Season, Why Not Mingnog?

So Charles Mingus had a killer eggnog recipe, apparently. I will enjoy making it while listening to The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady and I will enjoy drinking it while listening to Mingus Plays Piano. Here it is:
1.  Separate one egg for one person. Each person gets an egg.
2. Two sugars for each egg, each person.
3. One shot of rum, one shot of brandy per person.
4. Put all the yolks into one big pan, with some milk.
5. That’s where the 151 proof rum goes. Put it in gradually or it’ll burn the eggs.
6. OK. The whites are separate and the cream is separate.
7. In another pot— depending on how many people— put in one shot of each, rum and brandy. (This is after you whip your whites and your cream.)
8. Pour it over the top of the milk and yolks.
9. One teaspoon of sugar. Brandy and rum.
10. Actually you mix it all together.
11. Yes, a lot of nutmeg. Fresh nutmeg. And stir it up.
12. You don’t need ice cream unless you’ve got people coming and you need to keep it cold. Vanilla ice cream. You can use eggnog. I use vanilla ice cream.
13. Right, taste for flavor. Bourbon? I use Jamaica Rum in there. Jamaican Rums. Or I’ll put rye in it. Scotch. It depends. See, it depends on how drunk I get while I’m tasting it.
Click here for more info.

Holy cow! With a recipe like that, you can't help but feel good will toward man this season. Drinkus up!